Chapter 11 of Sherry Turkle's book, Alone Together, introduces the reader to the world of Second Life.
Notice how this narrator characterizes this simulation as "historical" because it was filmed in 2006. In the real life, a house built in 2006 is still characterized as *New* in the real estate world. Turkle introduces us to a few subjects who have built second lives. One, Joel (SL, Rashi), is an insecure 26 year old in real life. In Second Life Joel is a purple, tiny elephant who is also a public figure known for his kind demeanor and cyber gaming wisdom. Joel's mental line between Second life and real life is very clear although fine. He justifies his avatar by affirming that his Second Life has become a self-esteem supplement to his real life. Joel uses the Second Life game to practice his leadership skills in a cyber setting so he can translate them to a physical setting when given the chance. He sees his participation as practical yet entertaining. He doesn't delve in to replace his real life as some people do.
The Second Life online newspaper offers an advice column to help users meander through the second life world and to cope with the problems of maintaining a first life and second life. "Bella, the Wise" is the advisor and her posts with the tags "addict", "fired" and "relationship" far outnumber the posts with tags like "events". In a column titled "SL has ruined my life!", a reader complains of their addiction to Second Life and how their real life relationship is suffering because of it. The reader writes that he has been fired from their real life job for sneaking a 'SL fix' during work hours. The reader goes on to explain that even though their real life is hanging in the balance they can't find the emotional energy to care because he views the recent unemployment as just more time for gaming.
I would view this particular request for help as more of a cry for help. The reader is blatantly admitting that there is a problem, a mental disconnect. A therapist would take this opportunity to help "outta work and don't care" to rationalize his thoughts and even seek further help. Bella, the advice giver, goes the opposite direction. She welcomes him to the rather large club of people with ruined first lives due to second life and then proposes a series of boundaries and a regimen of self-control. But before that advice she does recommend a job without a computer (i.e. factory worker, janitor...) would probably be the best bet.
Truthfully, I'm a little put off by Bella's response. I'm all for bettering oneself when you can. I thought her advice was more enabling than helping. Let's call a spade a spade, shall we? Second Life can be very real and cause real problems and real addictions. A heroin addict would be fired for using on the job, and probably asked to go to rehab by his/her family and loved ones. I see no difference between the two other than one addiction is more conventional than the other. Bella also advises dealing with the issue privately and not involve his wife. Most marital counselors would advise against this strategy and would promote being upfront, honest, and vulnerable. A component that Turkle discusses in this chapter is betrayal. Usually, this word is used in context pertaining to gamer v. gamer. But it is evident, and well known, that this betrayal exceeds beyond the game and affects people who have chosen not to live a second life.
Where the internet can be a place to create a new life, it can also be a place to deal with your current life. People feel the ability to be a true version of themselves when a computer screen is acting as a harbor. Chapter 12 of Turkle's book approaches the subject of people just being people. Not different people, but themselves uncensored and unbarred.
PostSecret is an online forum where secrets are published one a week. Frank, the site creator, picks from thousands of secrets sent to him every week. He publishes them on Sunday as sort of a symbolic way of starting the new week clean of guilt. The site has become viral. He speaks to universities -arenas- of people explaining to them that guilt and regret can eat you alive. He sends a message that allowing yourself to release your secrets can be liberating and open your eyes to a brighter life. Secrets can be about anything.
Guilty pleasures...
Intimate thoughts...
And a general hope in people...
I was first introduced to PostSecret in high school. I fell in love with the simple honesty the blog offered. The dialogue was always sincere and supportive, the layout was very clear, this isn't a stunt to make money. It's a genuine place for people to be themselves and it went viral. PostSecret allows itself to grow on the premise that they are helping people. 4 books and numerous speaking engagements later, Frank is still posting secrets every Sunday and now has a chapter in a book about being alone together.
The truth is that many of these confessional sites, like FML and GMH, are all about being alone together. So many of the secrets posted deal with posters feeing lonely or inadequate seeking a support community. Often it's easier to post our feelings in a place where nobody we know can identify them as our own. Using our computer screens as a buffer from the real world has become a virtual trend. These confessions aren't generic. A lot of them should be said to somebody's face, but the reality of our society is that we're defensive. The next best thing is to get our confessions out in the open for somebody, anybody, to read them.
No comments:
Post a Comment