Ch. 9: Together through Cell Phone Service and Through Wi-Fi

It seems silly once you sit and think about it. The relationship we have with our phones. In all honesty, at the heart of the problem, our phones are our better-half. They answer our questions, connect us with others, keep us informed, and help us feel secure. What we go through to keep that phone close to us is absolutely ridiculous and I am no exception.

The very first page of Ch. 9 could be the Surgeon General's warning on the box of all technology. Turkle talks to kids who admit to having attachment issues with their phones. Kids feeling anxiety when not able to respond ASAP to a buzz or a beep. Kids walking into walls so they don't have to go a second not looking at their screens. One kid even complains of a chipped tooth. What are we willing to risk to connect? Our wellbeing?

When Turkle asks a group of teenagers when was the last time you felt like having no interruptions? She gets no responses, except for one: "An interruption is the beginning of a connection." But what about the connection in front of you? It seems to be that the rules of engagement for people (i.e. common courtesy) are changing:

1. It's okay to have your phone out on the dinner table when dining with other people. 
2. It's okay to look at a text message when someone is speaking to you. And answer it.
3. It's okay to answer the phone when it rings but only to say, "Can I call you back?"
4. It's okay to answer the phone and talk loudly in a public place.
5. It's okay to have your favorite song as your really loud ring tone. Especially in a quiet place (Movies, library, church).

Just kidding. It's not okay to do any of that stuff. Our mothers have raised us better than that. But we still tolerate it because we know we're guilty of the same social misdemeanors.

I remember when kids my age started getting their phones. The trend in my area was that you got your cell phone at age 15-16 for driving purposes. Phones were relative to safety. That was only 6 years ago.  Today, kids getting phones are in elementary and middle school. Today, phones aren't safety tools, they are social tools. Kids don't view them as necessary in the same fashion we did growing up. Parents complain about their kids screening calls, choosing not to answer because their phone is crucial to their social life. Not their physical life. Parents don't have a place in kids' social lives. Parents are left to wonder if their kid is safe. After all, a car crash that prevents a call from being answered and the child screening the calls looks the same to a parent on the other end of the line. My first phone came with a list of conditions:

• You have 500 minutes. Don't go over.
• You have 1000 texts. Don't go over.
• I call, you answer. No exceptions.
• The phone is turned off and in the kitchen at 10:00pm every night.
• I reserve the right to look at anything on that phone whenever I want. 
• If you break it you're buying the next one. 

And to me, those conditions seemed reasonable and I followed them. I knew that the social aspect of the phone was a privilege. These days the fights I had with my parents over math homework are probably comparable, if not worse, than those being had over technology. My Aunt has a good rule with her 16 year old daughter, "If you can't respect privacy (i.e. being responsible with your private text messages and phone calls), you don't deserve privacy." The consequence for breaking this rule results in taking away her daughter's bed room door for an undisclosed amount of time. Of course Julia is not excited about that rule or happy it is in place, but she hasn't broken it lately. She's got a bad taste in the mouth about how her parents feel like they have this "authority" over her stuff even though her parents bought it.

There is a correlation between how much technology a child uses and their interpersonal behavior.

 Has having instant access to everybody at anytime make us ungrateful for the relationships we do have? I think so. In the chapter, Turkle, speaks to some young girls about their emotional crisis' and how they handle it. Always, the first reaction is to text somebody an invite to your personal pity party. If that person declines, you send the invite to the next person on your contact list. The more the merrier! And definitely avoid personal reflection and feeling of the emotions at all costs. The more distractions the better for dealing with drama trauma. Any certified therapist will tell you that...

Alone Together Ch. 8: Mixed Signals

I remember the first time I ever felt second best to someone's personal technology. Jeff Hartley was my youth pastor in high school as well as my best friend's dad. Jeff was an executive at Morris Communications and the Blackberry had just come on the market. I remember going over to his house and having him show me all the cool things his new toy did...and that was the last time I ever really saw him. From then out all I ever saw was the top of his head and his right index finger scrolling that little toggle on the side of his "Crackberry."

At the time I was really offended that the Crackberry got to come on ski trips with us, came out to bonfires, distracted in youth Sunday rehearsals, and made weird noises on movie nights. Come to find out, his family was offended too and established a rule that the Crackberry was not allowed on the second floor of their home which is where they did a lot of their family bonding. Instead, Jeff bought a bigger TV for the first floor of their home and the new Wii so that everybody could be equally plugged in and absorbed in the same room without feeling guilty. My, how the times have changed. 

This past Christmas at my Grandparent-in-law's house was spent around a TV as we partook in 10 hours of a Just Dance 4 for Kinnect tournament. Everyone was involved and having fun. At one point I looked around the room and noticed that none of us were texting or distracted. We were all engaged in the family time and we had technology to thank.

Sherry Turkle brings up some very interesting points in Ch. 8. She talks of people having anxiety from being plugged in all the time and of teenagers taking in experiences differently. She talks of the advantages and setbacks in our everyday lives as well as our professional careers. She discusses "offline vacations" and information overloads. She presents the big picture to the readers. I think it's safe to say that these issues are all issues we've dealt with in our lives at one point or another and the question still remains to be answered "What is enough?" 

It's true, the introduction of technology has significantly changed how we live our lives on a daily basis. We don't need maps to travel- there is an app for that. We don't need cookbooks - there is an app for that. We don't need photo albums - we have a photo stream. We don't even need to bring our bibles to church - there's an app for Jesus too! Distance isn't an objection to relationships - there is Skype and Facetime. The world is literally getting smaller, but sometimes it comes at the cost of the people around you. You can take it as a compliment, I guess, that your are wanted by somebody at all times. Or you can get your feelings hurt that people don't respect you enough to give you a minute alone. It won't be long until Human Resources is requiring all of us to go to a "Technology & Personal Boundaries" seminar in an effort to cover the company's butt on account of demanding colleagues and employers. 

I can't help but wonder that when the telephone was invented, and people started installing it in their homes, if there wasn't some sort of outcry that handwritten letters were going to be lost as an art form or if calling on a friend for tea would be out dated. 

Popular musicians 50 cent and Justin Timeberlake came out with a song in 2008 titled "Ayo Technology." If you can get past the sexual innuendos (that's an understatement), you can see that the song is very relevant to this topic. These men are tired of the online flirting and just want a real physical relationship: 

Baby, this a new age, you're like my new crazeLet's get together, maybe we can start a new phaseThe smoke's got the club all hazy, spotlights don't do you justice, babyWhy don't you come over here? You got me saying

Ayo, I'm tired of using technologyWhy don't you sit down on top of me?Ayo, I'm tired of using technologyI need you right in front of me

Read more: 50 CENT - AYO TECHNOLOGY LYRICS 

In a way, aren't we all tired of the buzzing, dinging, quacking, and beeping? Wouldn't it be a mental break just to have one person in front of you to focus on? If your answer is yes, please turn your phone on silent and slip into the bag next to you. As they say, "out of sight out of mind." 

Nayer Ch. 1&2: A Second Dimension

When the Internet was introduced in the early 1990s, no one could predict how it would literally turn our worlds upside down. And then create a new one. It's true, our world's have become digitalized, personalized, and instant. We live in a world outside of the physical called Cyberspace.

Cyberspace has revolutionized how we invent ourselves. First impressions are no longer necessary and traveling for a face-to-face meeting is a hassle or a luxury depending on your mindset. Cyberspace has given us an entire world at our fingertips and venues that allow us to put ourselves out there via profiles, available to be researched upon our request. You can be whoever you want online.

Gaming sites like Second Life that really engage in the idea of an alternate virtual reality allow it's users to recreate themselves online physically with avatars and create a life for themselves complete with careers, neighborhoods, friends, and even romance.

Obviously, this game can be found entertaining but also dangerously addictive. People are given the opportunity to reinvent themselves and sometimes create a life that is better than their first life. With a life that can be lived online, that may be better than the one you are currently living, it's very possible to lose yourself in cyberspace. In fact, divorces have been filed over virtual affairs. For some, a cyber life is just as good, maybe better, than a physical life. 

Using a computer screen as your cover can empower it's users. The popular MTV show Catfish chronicles online relationships that have gone rogue ending in disappointment because one person was hiding who they actually are. 

Of course, creating an online identity can be much simpler than a profile. Something as easy and small as an email address can give you a reputation before a physical meeting. Let's test this theory out.

If an email came to your inbox from "juliannebray89@gmail.com" what would you think? 

VS.

If an email came to your inbox from "BlOnDiEbOoTy14@gmail.com" what would you think?

Logically thinking, juliannebray89 would receive more of your professional attention than blondiebooty14. However, that screen name does represent a part of your identity and represents your online presence. It's sending a message about your character. People other than you care about that. 

With an email address you can also sign up for social networking profiles. Sites like Xanga, Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, Pandora, Pinterest, Flickr, LinkedIn, YouTube, Digg, the list goes on and on, allow for a cyber relationship to either replace or supplement an actual relationship. 

Social Networking goes beyond the social aspect. It provides extra information for potential employers, can provide employment (aka YouTubers, Pro Bloggers), as well as reinvent how boy meets girl. We all know you're not in a legitimate relationship until you're "Facebook official."With these customizable changes available you can change people's perceptions of your lifestyle. Relationships can be instantaneous. With a few sweeps over a profile I can find out more about you than you're willing to admit in a first meeting conversation. 

The reason cyberspace is so attractive to us is that it is instant. With tools that can fit in any carrier you can imagine, from backpacks to purses to pockets, there is always a way for you to be plugged in and no excuse not to be. 

The Digital World is my Oyster

My name is Claire. I enjoy traveling, football, and coffeehouse, acoustic music. I love going to church, drive-in movies, and going downtown to window shop. I enjoy being my pajamas but I also love to dress up. My friends and family mean the most to me. I'm engaged to Pierce Drake and am currently up to my eyeballs in planning our wedding. I enjoy having my hands in a bunch of projects all at once even though I can't be more than two places at once. Although, with digital media it seems like I could be.

Digital Media is basically the foundation for my day-to-day life. From twitter, instagram, facebook, pinterest, and a slew of blogs - I am always plugged into a network that extends beyond the room I am sitting in. Out of all these portals, twitter has impacted the way I live my life the most. Twitter allows me to stay plugged in with up-to-the-minute updates from various organizations I am involved in as well as stay plugged in to important information during a large event. Over the break I attended a conference along with 65,000 other people. Twitter (and the conference app) were crucial to understanding the schedule and traffic flow.

Pinterest is another portal that has become a big part of my life. Not only can I use it as a digital wish list, but I am never at a loss for inspiration. Because my Pinterest page was designed by me for me, there isn't anything on there that I don't like or want. When a quick fix is needed or a last minute recipe is to be made, Pinterest is there to make my life easier. I've used Pinterest for christmas present ideas, as a means of communicating ideas when event planning, and as an aid on various projects. It's easy, accessible, and engaging by being visual.

Pinterest has also allowed for me to share boards with members of my family so that we can put all of our ideas for a communal project in one place. My mom, aunt, future mother-in-law, and myself all share a board for the wedding. This way, everyone can feel included on the planning, suggest ideas at their own leisure, and just have a good time planning a fun party. It has been so helpful to have more than just my own input and also not feeling hammered with ideas from everybody. This Pinterest board is a visual, continual, conversation where everyone's ideas are welcome. 

In all honesty, the reason behind most of my involvement in digital media is my iPhone. This tiny little accessory has opened all sorts of doors for my digital world. Everything is customizable, everything is connectable. My iPhone revolutionized the way I live my live. With my iPhone the digital world became my oyster. I can answer any question I have immediately with Google. I can entertain myself instantly with any app out there that is just a download away. I can find out the weather, the news, the date, take a picture, publish a picture, answer an email all while being fully engaged in another activity.