Alone Together Ch. 8: Mixed Signals

I remember the first time I ever felt second best to someone's personal technology. Jeff Hartley was my youth pastor in high school as well as my best friend's dad. Jeff was an executive at Morris Communications and the Blackberry had just come on the market. I remember going over to his house and having him show me all the cool things his new toy did...and that was the last time I ever really saw him. From then out all I ever saw was the top of his head and his right index finger scrolling that little toggle on the side of his "Crackberry."

At the time I was really offended that the Crackberry got to come on ski trips with us, came out to bonfires, distracted in youth Sunday rehearsals, and made weird noises on movie nights. Come to find out, his family was offended too and established a rule that the Crackberry was not allowed on the second floor of their home which is where they did a lot of their family bonding. Instead, Jeff bought a bigger TV for the first floor of their home and the new Wii so that everybody could be equally plugged in and absorbed in the same room without feeling guilty. My, how the times have changed. 

This past Christmas at my Grandparent-in-law's house was spent around a TV as we partook in 10 hours of a Just Dance 4 for Kinnect tournament. Everyone was involved and having fun. At one point I looked around the room and noticed that none of us were texting or distracted. We were all engaged in the family time and we had technology to thank.

Sherry Turkle brings up some very interesting points in Ch. 8. She talks of people having anxiety from being plugged in all the time and of teenagers taking in experiences differently. She talks of the advantages and setbacks in our everyday lives as well as our professional careers. She discusses "offline vacations" and information overloads. She presents the big picture to the readers. I think it's safe to say that these issues are all issues we've dealt with in our lives at one point or another and the question still remains to be answered "What is enough?" 

It's true, the introduction of technology has significantly changed how we live our lives on a daily basis. We don't need maps to travel- there is an app for that. We don't need cookbooks - there is an app for that. We don't need photo albums - we have a photo stream. We don't even need to bring our bibles to church - there's an app for Jesus too! Distance isn't an objection to relationships - there is Skype and Facetime. The world is literally getting smaller, but sometimes it comes at the cost of the people around you. You can take it as a compliment, I guess, that your are wanted by somebody at all times. Or you can get your feelings hurt that people don't respect you enough to give you a minute alone. It won't be long until Human Resources is requiring all of us to go to a "Technology & Personal Boundaries" seminar in an effort to cover the company's butt on account of demanding colleagues and employers. 

I can't help but wonder that when the telephone was invented, and people started installing it in their homes, if there wasn't some sort of outcry that handwritten letters were going to be lost as an art form or if calling on a friend for tea would be out dated. 

Popular musicians 50 cent and Justin Timeberlake came out with a song in 2008 titled "Ayo Technology." If you can get past the sexual innuendos (that's an understatement), you can see that the song is very relevant to this topic. These men are tired of the online flirting and just want a real physical relationship: 

Baby, this a new age, you're like my new crazeLet's get together, maybe we can start a new phaseThe smoke's got the club all hazy, spotlights don't do you justice, babyWhy don't you come over here? You got me saying

Ayo, I'm tired of using technologyWhy don't you sit down on top of me?Ayo, I'm tired of using technologyI need you right in front of me

Read more: 50 CENT - AYO TECHNOLOGY LYRICS 

In a way, aren't we all tired of the buzzing, dinging, quacking, and beeping? Wouldn't it be a mental break just to have one person in front of you to focus on? If your answer is yes, please turn your phone on silent and slip into the bag next to you. As they say, "out of sight out of mind."